Jenn Reese Writer, Artist, Geek

Fortune Cookie


It’s rare for a fortune cookie to both summarize your life and give you a kick in the ass at the same time. My last one did. It says:

I learn by going where I have to go.


About the author

Jenn Reese


  • That is a good one. Sadly, my fortune cookies are usually either insulting or confusing…sometimes both at the same time.

    Like the time I got one with a calculus equation as the fortune…then when I turned it over to learn the educational word, the translation read: "Bet you don't even know what that formula means, do you? Moron."

    Fortune cookies taste like tears.

  • I don't like the inherent cheeriness in fortune cookies. True fortune could be good, could be bad. A fortune cookie is only good.

    I especially hate the shitty advice that fortune cookies give.

    I know the biggest thing stopping these companies from putting bad fortunes in cookies is "lawsuits" which is nuts. I think they should get sued by everyone who's fortune doesn't come out. Or someone could spill a bag of fortune cookies all over themselves and sue.

    What would the lawsuit of someone suing a fortune cookie look like? "My cookie said I was going to die, and I didn't."

    I have heard that fortune cookies are one of two foods NOT invented in China. The other one is ketchup.

  • I've given up fortune cookies. They are too scary. My final fortune cookie said "You are doomed to be happy in wedlock"

By Jenn Reese
Jenn Reese Writer, Artist, Geek

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