As the last days of December fall away, I would normally do a recap post wherein I talk about how I did during the year in terms of Mind, Body, and Spirit, or some other random metric. But this year, I don’t wanna.
I struggled emotionally in 2010, mostly with financial and job stress. It was my best year ever in terms of my writing career, and that counts for a lot — but in my funny little brain place, I didn’t handle the year’s challenges with as much joy or energy as I would have liked.
On January 1st, I posted my goal for the year: I want to live with the passion and tenacity of the Tiger and the flexibility and wisdom of the Dragon.
I had a great, wonderful year in so many ways, but I don’t think I lived up to either the Tiger or the Dragon. I think I let my unemployment and financial worries impact my life too much. I gave them too much power. Looking back at the year, it’s not my lack of income I regret, it’s how much I let that stress get to me.
I had a great year, truly — full of new adventures and great friends and lots of love — and it deserved better from me.
The Internet informs me that the year of the Rabbit will be calmer and more peaceful. Let's hope!
Year of the Rabbit! Yes, hopefully that will be a little more manageable. I guess I should have expected craziness from Tiger. :)
My personal theory is that "living up to the Tiger" means "keeping your head above water and sometimes being brave and bold." Emphasis on sometimes!
When I think of your year, I think:
-You sold two books after doing really impressive rewrites
-You wrote AND revised a fabulous all-new book
-You started a really cool even-newer book
-You won auditions and performed in some really, really cool voice-acting gigs
-You were an incredibly generous and supportive friend to me and so many other people. I hope you know what an amazing difference you have made to my life, and to my writing.
Please remember all of your accomplishments – including the ones that are hard to quantify, like the time and energy and sympathy and support you gave to friends who were going through hard times or wanted readers for their novels. You really, really rock. *HUGS*
Aw, Steph, you made me tear up. Thank you for saying all that wonderful stuff, and thank you most of all for being such an amazing friend.
What Steph said…I know it was a stressful year, but I hope you look back on all the awesome things you accomplished too. I think you did great! :)
You deserve yet another purple heart for not only living with me during all of this, but staying positive and supportive, too. You da best.
As usual, you are harder on yourself than you deserve. I know you have standards, woman, but please lighten up, cut yourself some slack – you make the rest of us look bad.
Last year, you said it all – this would be our year. And it was! We both sold. Our experiences were polar opposites, but still – we sold! It took tenacity. Rewrites. Distractions. Lack of financial resources is a worry but truly, only a slight worry. We are resilient, resourceful women. The money will be there when it's needed. I'm truly clinging to this now since hubby's job is most likely going away next week.
2011 is at our feet. We shall claim it and make it roar for us. All we need is the proper motivation to get there.
Love you lots!
LOL — love you to bits, Christine. Not even major surgery can slow you down — you're a true Tiger. :-)
Success is often accompanied by the unstable shifting of ground beneath our feet. This is because we can't make progress without entering uncharted territory. Learning to handle life when it's "up in the air" like this can be VERY difficult, but it's one of those vital lessons. As usual, you're being too hard on yourself. Don't be. :-)
Happy New Year.
Happy new year to you, too. :)
What Steph said. You are working: You're a writer and you are writing…a lot!!! And you are a great friend. And I love you :). I understand the stress and the fears though. This is a very scary unstable time. Glad I am walking through it with Jenn!
As always, Lisa, your friendship makes me fierce. You're dealing with a lot more than I am and keeping your black belt spirit. I'll do my best to keep up with you next year. :-D
Jenn, we've talked a lot about these things this year. And while not having a job and not having as much money as you wanted certainly got you down some days, I also saw just how hard you worked. Whether it is your writing, running, or even World of Warcraft you have amazing drive and passion when you get a goal. This may come as a shock, but you are not a Tiger nor are you a Dragon. You are a person. And Persons can't be Tigers all the time. Persons can't be Dragons all the time. They also need to be wise owls and sly foxes. They need to be sad weeping willows or dancing hummingbirds. And sometimes they even need to be cuddly teddy bears. As far as I'm concerned, you are a perfect blend of all those things and so much more. The past is behind us. The future is front. And I'm running out of cliches.
You are a dear friend and someone I admire. Who else can I sit in front of a TV for a afternoon with watching women's hockey and have that be one of the days from this year that I remember most fondly? :-D
Your friend in evil…
Bill
Bill, that is just an amazing, wonderful comment. And pretty darn wise, too. I'm really grateful you were there for me this year. Sure you're evil — if evil is a big, huggable stuffed animal of AWESOME. :)
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Good things and bad happen in fairly equal measure. It’s our choice if we want to focus on the good or the bad, both happen, what we are is based on how we handle it. And I think you are pretty darn amazing! Besides, I think the point is that you truly tried to live up to your expectations, right? And hey, you started running this year! :).
Yeah, the goods and the bads go hand-in-hand, don't they? But in the end, it's all worth it, and that's what I should focus on. Thanks again to you and Paul for kicking me off on the running!!!
Jenn,
I haven't had the pleasure of meeting your friend, Bill, but he said everything I would like to have said to you….SO beautifully! You are so very gifted and loved and I appreciate Chris being there with you and sharing the Journey…so lovingly and kindly. You are both blessed to have each other. I know things are tough financially, but you have so much going for you and I feel confident that 2011 will be a fantastic year for you!!!
Love, Mom
I am definitely lucky to have my wonderful friends and family on my side — including you, Mom. :) We will both have a fantastic year, okay?
@jennreese don't regret what's passed. Look forward to the new year!
@lingtm If I don't look back sometimes, I'll never learn.
@jennreese yes, but don't regret what's already been done. You can't change it. You can do something about the upcoming year.
@jennreese and like you said, you had a great writing year. Don't forget that part!