When I was a kid, I wanted to be an Olympic bobsledder. Admittedly, this dream only lasted for two short weeks every four years, but still. If I were going to be in the winter Olympics, bobsledding was my sport of choice. What’s not to love about hurtling down an ice track at 90 miles per hour?
The older Olympics fanatic in me has different thoughts. Curling is awesome, and the sport I can see myself doing because it doesn’t require incredible athletic training. (If you can do it while being five months pregnant, I’ve probably got a shot.) At this point in my life, I don’t want to be doing anything at 90 miles per hour.
But if we’re dreaming here, and I say we are, then I would play hockey. I love the fast-paced nature of the sport, the combination of physicality and finesse. Also, team sports just rock. Sure, you share your gold medal with a bunch of other women, but hey — you share your gold medal with a bunch of other women! Awesomesauce, that’s what I say.
Least favorite sport? Short track speed skating, hands down. Those athletes are wearing huge razor blades on their feet and skating tremendously fast right on top of each other. And trying to pass! It’s absolutely insane. I’m surprised more people don’t have their femoral arteries sliced open on a regular basis. Not only do I never want to compete in this sport — even in my dream life — I can’t even bear to watch it most of the time.
My gold medal would be in Hockey.
The sport I would never even attempt is Short Track Speed Skating.
What sport is your fictional winter Olympics gold medal in? (Here’s a list of sports to help you out.)
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